- My own beauty and the beauty standards
- Goal weight = Happiness?
- Your strength can be your weakness, and weakness can be your strength
- When you put your energy into something that you care about, anything is possible
My own beauty and the beauty standards
When Tomomi was 13 years old, she started feeling that she was ugly and fat because she did not look like the people on TV, magazines, and advertisements everywhere. She felt that the messages coming from them were, “This is beautiful. If you don’t fit in, you are not.” She tried to fit into those standards and did things to fit in even if it would hurt herself.
What is a beauty? Should we have beauty standards? What if we were more attuned to all kinds of beauty presented everywhere, in other people and in ourselves, would she still have the same struggle? Would we?
When Tomomi became a trainer, she worked hard to improve her own fitness level. As her body changed, she became more confident about her looks. She had a new sense of value. But she started wondering what would happen if she couldn’t work out due to an injury or something. Would she still have that feeling of value about herself? Her answer was no.
- Looks aren’t the only thing beautiful
- Being who you are is already enough and beautiful
- There is no need to fit into any beauty standards
Goal weight = Happiness?
Tomomi wanted to be 103 lb so bad during her twenties because she believed that if she could be at that weight, she would have the confidence that she needed to feel beautiful about herself.
Even when she got to her goal weight, she did not feel beautiful enough. She didn’t know her own value, so reaching that weight didn’t bring her the confidence she thought it would.
- Our weight does not define our beauty or value
- We all have the perfect body weight that matches our own body
- Is your goal weight healthy for you?
Your strength can be your weakness, and weakness can be your strength
When Tomomi was running a gym with her partner at a previous location, she was under a lot of pressure and stress. Their rent was about $5000 a month and the expenses were from $6000 to $7000 a month, plus paying back to their investor. She was very insecure about her accent and felt uncomfortable talking to people who were outside of her field. Her partner told her, “Remember, you speak two languages. Most Americans only speak one.”
Tomomi is very responsible, always wants to do the right thing, and gives her best to everything she does. Most employers would love those qualities, but the pressure she was putting on herself was pushing her to the edge. She had to learn to take it easy and be lazy sometimes.
- If you look at your own weaknesses in a different way, they could be your strengths
- Your strengths can be what give you pressure and stress
- We can manage our stress by thinking differently
When you put your energy into something that you care about, anything is possible
Tomomi’s brother was a smart kid when they were little. Tomomi accepted that and didn’t try to compete with him at all. She didn’t think less of herself because of that; she knew that she just didn’t like to study much. Tomomi hates math. Her brother wanted to go to the smartest high school in Iwakuni. So he studied hard, and he got in. When it was Tomomi’s turn, she picked a high school which had one of the strongest track and field teams because she wanted to keep running. So, she didn’t study hard like her brother. When she went to orientation at the high school she had selected, she learned that she was in the smartest classroom in the grade. All of her classmates took an exam for the smartest high school in Iwakuni, and, unfortunately, they didn’t make it. She also learned that if she didn’t do good with her grades, she would drop to the next lower level classroom. She would continue to drop each level if she didn’t pass her tests. She went home and told her parents that she was going to stay in the classroom. She studied very hard, especially in math, and she stayed for the entire school term. She stayed on the track and field team as well.
Tomomi learned that she could be smart like her brother.
- It is possible that you are better at something than you think you are
- Doing your best always creates a great feeling
- It could be that your thoughts are holding you back from achieving what is possible for you